hustler_honeyy

so its been a while A LOT has happened i guess im in a stage where im finding
out who my real friends are. I mean I have the people I need in my life im just
finding out the fakes and stuff. At school, im trying not to talk to everyone as much because all that does is get you drama and I hate drama and I hate the lies that people create behind my back. I don't know I've decided to be more low key and just go to my classes and not talk as much.
And my love life is like non existant lol.. me and jason are over.
it kinda sucks its hard cuz i miss our late night talks and
our inside jokes.
Jason and his gf broke up, and I feel like I was part of the reason even though he tells her
I had nothing to do with it I know i was and he knows it too...
But we never got together. Its like god doesnt want me to be with anyone
Like everytime i like a guy it never works out...
But i guess that means i just gotta focus on me.

"The words are coming I feel terrible Is it typical for us to end like this? Am I just another scene From a movie that you've seen 100 times. Cause baby you weren't the first or the last or the worst And I've got to fill the blanks in the past with a verse And we could sit around and cry but frankly your not worth it Anymore"

Me and Jason are def. over and I guess im okay? Like its hard for me to let go cuz I still want it to work but its gotten down to him just flat out telling me he doesnt have feelings for me anymore, and he told me I should have given up a long time ago, that kinda hurts, but whatever I guess its time for me to find someone new.

ahh things just seem to be getting worse for me
i finnaly ended things with jason last night. i feel absoutely horrible. i dont feel better letting him go i feel like shit. and i couldnt have picked a better time. my parents are getting a divorce. yeah they also annouced that last night a 1:00am. ugh i just hope things get better for me soon.

this summer has been a ruff one..
i just got out of surgery a couple days ago and it was really scary
they didnt but me under soo i was just sitting there staring at the roof. it was prolly one of thee most scariest times of my life.
on top of the surgery, my relationships with people are not going soo well... mostly with boyss or one boy i should say..they just dont understand any thing and there soo difficult. im still trying to understand jason. he treats me like shit all the time and i hate it. he keeps telling me when i get to chandler things will be better between us. but i dont know if i can wait. i mean he makes things soo difficult for us and i hate that and i dont want to get hurt by another boy but he keeps telling me to trust him and everything will be finee. i just dont know if i can do that because i KNOW hes still head over heels with his ex-girlfriend and i cant be in a relationship with someone who has not gotten over their ex.
i think i just need to move on and find someone who will be with me and only me not someone who still cares about their ex.
i think im going to end things with jason.
he has taken soo MUCH from me emotionally that if we ever did get together i dont think ill have anything to give.

im at peace with everything at this stage in my life. For once i feel like im in a great place. I love all of my friends and im finding neww ones, i am repairing relationships with some friends I just feel happy for mee for once.
im usualy always worried about others and how to make them happy.. but lately ive been focusing on mee and it feels good to kno that i have noo drama to worry about and i have no hate toward anybody im just.. at peace
and i feel very confident in myself.& it might just be that i found this beautiful boy.. he makes mee happy and he fills mee with joy. boyss usualy try to bullshit mee.& they get boring but this boy.. hes diffrent like i cant get him outta my head & he keeps me guessing and i dont know what is going to happen next.. we have been spending alot of time together.And it gets even better! my parents love himm and they ask about himm ALL the time!
heheh that makes it ease for me to be honest and i dont have to go behind there backs and stuff! lol
Yeah but nott saying im in love or anything.
but i love how i feel when im with himm..
&i hope it never goes away
ill try to trust himm but.. i have a tuff time trusting boys.